My Peace has been Disturbed.....

and I HATE THAT!!!!

Got some shit I need to sort out obviously....

But on top of that I hate going away from home!!!  Just thinking about it depresses me :(  Don't get me wrong, once I'm actually driving out the driveway and on my way to where ever it may be all is fine and dandy, animals are sorted so they are completely and utterly out of sight, out of mind, and I love the entire time away, but dear god, the lead up to leaving sends me into a funk big time!  Just want to curl up in bed and not get out till it's too late to go and I might as well just stay at home.  Stupid I know, but doesn't stop it being like that!  And even more stupid cause I know every single time I'll have a ball once I actually leave!

Picked up the ute today... a tad disappointed that it isn't quite as "tidy" as I had assumed it would be due to it's age/mileage/price, had "assumed" coming from a dealer with that price tag on it that they would have tidied it up a lot more than they did.... oh well, it goes well, it's a nice ute and it's not like I bloody look after my vehicles anyway so meh, stiff shit I guess LOL.

That's all... just moping... frustrated, not sure what to do, and tired as hell....

Stupid shit that I just needed to get out of my head somewhere.... forces me to start addressing it properly :) 

Merry Christmas and all that....

All done and dusted for another year.  Is rather anti-climactic here with just me and the boy and no Santa involved anymore, no family to visit, was thinking next year we may enter the realms of "service" for Christmas, go help at the soup kitchen or (god bless FB and being able to share these ideas cause there is always gorgeous Brenna who's on the same wavelength but thinks outside the square I'm in) things I hadn't thought of, like the Women's Refuge house or the Salvation Army may know of some people in need.  I love giving at Xmas time, gives me the warm fuzzies, but I'm very aware of not being able to spoil the child so I just don't feel fulfilled at all now LOL.

But then we were surprised by a visit from a Nelsonian going for a Xmas day ride on the bike, shared our fruit salad and icecream and conversation well past midnight, and it was nice to not feel so isolated on what should be a day of sharing love and laughter.  Very cool.

Go to pick up the new ute tomorrow morning, and off to Golden Bay on Sunday.... will park up with the distant cousin I used to tease about being inbred before I knew we were related LOL.  Looking forward to just chilling away from home and giving Marcus someone to do something with and beaches right across the road.  Will feel like a good mummy :)

Wish I could pick up the phone and say Merry Christmas to mum :(  but will see her soon and as much as I shed some tears somedays with her, I will smile and laugh for her and make her do the same and watch her face light up, and remember how much I would recognise her laugh anywhere and remember the better times when I've heard it in the past.  I miss my mumma bear :(

Hope everyone out there is enjoying their down time, or their family time, or their friends time, or their introspection time, or their peaceful time.  Compliments of the season to you as my father would say :)

This Time of Year I Always Seem to Count my Blessings....

Way back in the depths of the black hole of a depression, in a relationship with a psychopath and only sleeping 4 hrs a night, I looked around for anything that might help me claw my way out of that hell (should have just dumped his ass 5 yrs sooner, would have been much easier, but no learning would have happened!) and up on my newsfeed on FB a friend was starting a 365 days of Gratitude challenge, and I said, yep, I'll do it.  I certainly needed to be able to change the way I was viewing everything and so every day I would post up one sometimes stupid measly thing that I was grateful for and believe me, some of them I struggled to get even the most pathetic thing to report!  But I did it and altho that was about 5 yrs ago now, it was the start of getting my head right, and with those small starts eventually the snow ball effect kicks in and things get better faster and when you're head is in a better place you can make the harder calls, like kicking idiots to touch and moving forward.

But now it's a lot more of a habit to think of, or give conscious mental time to things that I am grateful for.  I don't dwell on the shit things that come up.  Let them happen and wash on by, I honestly would struggle with telling of anything "negative" that happened in 2019, even tho of course, shit did happen!  But it was gone quickly, without lingering and so they are lost in the past.  But I do count my blessings, and as the years go by, those blessings are becoming more and more apparent, I wouldn't say "bigger" necessarily, but certainly there are things happening more and more frequently that make me think to myself "how lucky am I!!!"  Like my awesome neighbours and Hamish from up the road who came to help clean up trees with his tractor.  (Today he was out mowing his lawns so I sent Marcus out with some beers and choccy bickies for him and Marcus came back with the beers because apparently he doesn't drink!  So I'm guessing there is someone else yet to show some gratitude to with beers!  LOL)

Anywho... Xmas becomes that time when I look back at the year and reflect on everything that has been awesome over the year, and things that make me feel lucky, blessed, content, grateful, whatever you want to call it.

There have been times in life when everything has had to be fought for, when you feel like you're going against what the Universe must have planned for you, because shit, surely buying a property shouldn't be this hard!!!  etc etc, but you know what?  This last year, everything has just been falling into place, right down to the tiny little things, that may not seem like a big deal, but they are ALWAYS harder to fit into place than they have been just lately.  It's like all the hard work of getting the mental attitudes sorted are now paying the dividends.  And I guess watching mum rot away in a rest home with her brain disintegrating has made me appreciate a lot more than I ever did before.  Gone is the hoarding mentality that mum taught us so well, now it's LIVE!!!!  Work hard, but bloody well LIVE, you can't take money with you, word hard, play hard!!!!

And life is smoooooooooth, and I am grateful for every bloody thing in my life, and every person who has come into it.  I have fallen in love with my life and I intend to stay there.

Roll on 2020, looking forward to walking with ya xxx

Edit to add.... I go to my emails after posting this and there is a new Note From the Universe that has just arrived...

Life doesn't give folks a break. Nor does it test you. Nor is there any such thing as good luck, fate, or destiny.

On the other hand, Kelley-Anne, your thoughts become things. Which pretty much means you get to rule your world.

Better than winning the lottery, 

  The Universe

Just another LITTLE example of that syncronicity that is all around these days, but all those LITTLE things when viewed as a whole, shows life just flowing, head must finally be doing it right huh?!  :)  

Actually, it all reminds me of my tattoo on my wrist, Zen philosophy in Chinese Calligraphy, says Tao Tzu-yan Li, Tao Wu-Wei.  in it's simplest form it means the Way of Nature's Order, is the Way of Non-forced action... Go with the Flow Primo :) 

OK, Confession Time.....

I'm back on FB.....

Actually been back there for a few months.  But let me explain!!!!

Was at a motobike "thing" and happened upon my almost neighbour/friend Jim who was manning a stand for IAM and talking to a lady he knew about BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse that we're trying to get the numbers here for to start a chapter) and I hear him say "I don't know whats happening with the BACA thing.  Here's Kelley-Anne, talk to her."  Well hell, when your 2IC is calling it a "thing" and doesn't know what's happening with it I figured it needed a driving force again and FB is the easiest way to get it out and seen for local bikers since I don't know any outside of Jim LOL.

So I wandered back over there again with only 40 biker friends and started pushing the BACA thing back into awareness, but you know what?  All my boys are dropping off in interest and I KNOW some of them just don't have the level of commitment required to make it fit around work and family :(  Which meant last week I looked seriously at just pulling the plug on FB again (and wouldn't have missed it at all!!!) but since I still sit on my ass on the computer watching TV on demand or playing patience or some other bloody time waster, I thought honestly to myself, why NOT FB?  Why not add my genuine friends again and actually engage with them and keep up with what they are all doing?  And if in there BACA actually comes to be, then so be it.

So added the first "other" friends to the list yesterday, only 4 of them so far LOL.  Still don't wanna be scrolling for hours just liking shit for other people, want it to be a tight circle of real friends in my life.

And already been offered a survey to take in my newsfeed!!!!  FB you and your surveys can fuck right off!!!  But that very real threat of me saying something they don't approve of and me disappearing again means that there is no way in hell I will be stopping my wee blog of my life outside of FB!!!

Not That I've Been Counting Down to This Moment or Anything......

but damn, I've been hanging out for this moment!!!!  Finished work for 5 gloriously long weeks!!!!

So for a catch up on whats happened in the last week....

Well I bought a Hilux ute because I hate tow wagons that I can't rely on and after putting a new battery in my bighorn I'm STILL having to jump start it and wanting to take it up North for 3 weeks, it didn't bode well for a stress free trip! That and the fact the auto trans is slipping in it quite badly and no time to sort it now!  So just a wee short term extension on the mortgage and welcome to the family baby!

I've bought us some bunk stretchers to go in the float to sleep on, resurrected all my old camping gear and figured out how to secure the float and the bike in it, so we can head up north, with the bike in the back of the float, have the float be tent/caravan and disappear for day trips or a bit longer on the bike (need that bike fix!!!!) and still be able to take 3 weeks worth of gear with us!

Still need a bit of stuff to set the float up better for proper stays in it, but good thing is the dog/s will be able to come with us for this plan one day too, particularly after the side car arrives so they don't have to stay at the camp site or driveway we park up in LOL.

Slept for NINE HOURS SOLID last night.... do you know how many years its been since I can claim to have done that????  Nearly 9 yrs ago I started sleeping only 4 hours a night and seriously, it really did nearly kill me... that and other shit going on pushed me into a deep hole of depression that sat me on my ass being such a positive person.  Never want to have to find that type of strength again thanks!  Took a couple of years to kick the 4 hour sleep pattern.... made it to 6 hours.... was enough to feel like heaven compared to the life on 4 hours!!!!  And now, FINALLY, with the help of turmeric, Magnesium and being fucking happy, I can sleep NORMALLY again.  Beyond thankful!!!!

And right now, the boy is at his dads for the weekend and I need to get into town for some last minute bits and pieces before Christmas :)

One Week of Work Left!!!!!

THANK GOD!!!!!!

And a few bonuses have happened too!  We had our work do yesterday and I got a certificate for "best ambassador" for the company or something like that, nice to be appreciated, and it came with a $100 Pak'nSave voucher too.  Nice :)

A fella has bought the 4.5 acres behind me (damn him, that was mine to buy!!! GRRRRRR) Anyway, he has a business Ezi-mow and I asked him if he could trim my wind break tree line (they look like pines, but they're not pines, I don't know what they are LOL, but they grow really fast and the neighbours mow up that side of the road for me just because they're freaking awesome neighbours, but the branches on these trees are sort of out of control now the trees are 15 yrs old and never been touched!) so Dusty from Ezi-mow said $300 just for pole saw and ladder and chainsaw which wouldn't get all the way to the top but thats fine, don't need it looking like a squared off hedge, and cheaper than the $1K that another neighbour recently paid for a squared off hedge look!!!!  So I said, yep get it done dude, and he whacked it out this morning, didn't need to go back with the ladder and saw so it's only cost me $140 instead!!!!  WOOHOOO!!!

I made a start on dragging some branches in off the road, cause there is 200m worth there, but the deal was Marcus earns some money by dragging it all in (he's still got a computer to pay off back to me and no job!) so when he got up finally and dared to ask if he could go on his computer it was a "not a chance boy!"  "shall I go and get some branches in?"  "Well that would be smart thinking!"  So he trundled off and 15 mins later I went to give him a bit of a hand and show him where to put the piles of branches and hey presto along comes a neighbour who has been in the street longer than us and I've been here 15 yrs now (hell, I just realised, we are the only ones here still from the people that were here when we shifted in!!!!  High turnover in 5 acre blocks LOL) and in all the time we've both been here I've never spoken to him more than a "Hi" at the letter boxes.... He came up the road on his little tractor with a bucket on it and dragged more than a few loads to the burn pile growing in the paddock now.  Had a really good chat with him actually, it was nice :)  And he helped Marcus out, bonus for him LOL.

So lots of little things happening to be grateful for.

Got New Years lined up in Golden Bay so that's cool.  Haven't yet sorted what we're doing going up North, the bloody Isuzu tow wagon is refusing to start nicely even with a brand new battery.  Might have to jump it and take it to work and test the alternator out, I don't honestly think a 2nd new battery is actually going to help...(it has 2 batteries). I want to take that wagon up north for 3 weeks, but it's old and hasn't been used for 2 yrs and the auto trans is slipping so I just don't trust it.... will hold off booking the ferry for all that just yet LOL.

And did I mention.... ONLY FIVE DAYS OF WORK LEFT!!!!!!!!  WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!

Time to Reap What You Sow....

yep, had to get the hay in on Thursday LOL.  I have the BEST neighbours in the country I swear, they mow the shared drive that is mine, they even mow the road side grass (which is definitely mine!!!)  They lend me tools, they digs holes when I need to bury animals (to be fair, they do have a wee digger and I only have a spade!) they look after my critters when I shoot away, they are just awesome neighbours, gorgeous family, and on Thursday night while I'm dragging the 2nd load of hay in very slowly off the paddock thinking "shit, I've got another 6 loads to go, how the hell am I going to do this?!" they drive into the paddock and start loading their trailer with my hay and carting it back to my shed for me.  SOOOOOOO grateful cause there is just no way I would have gotten the 200 bales in all on my own in one night.

The horses got to spend a couple of nights out roaming the big paddock without an electric tape in sight, so good for the soul seeing them be able to kick up their heels and rampage around a big space like that.  Doesn't happen often enough when you're trying to protect every blade of grass so you have enough.

And now we have beautiful, glorious rain!!!!!  The paddock will sprout again, the horses are all off grazing round the corner cleaning out another fantastic friend's paddocks and my shed is full with a huge surplus to flick off and cover some costs.

So blessed with the people I have around me....

aaaaaah, blissful weekend....

Saturday was a day of rest, Sunday was a day of riding the bike, nice loop around thru Nelson and home and now the man is out in my paddock cutting my hay :)

Life is good

Spring is the time of plenty...

when the earth shows off her bounty and we get to put stuff aside for the leaner drought prone months or winter.  I rang the hay man yesterday and said we were ready for hay to be cut, way too much for 2 of my fatties out there, might as well be baled and in the shed!!!

Took the dogs and Izzy (the goat) for a walk around the paddock this morning, can tell we are finally getting the soil nutrients right, I've got clover up to my knees in some places, gonna be gorgeous hay!

Have decided that I better get my shit together and lose 10kgs too, this pancakes for breakfast in the weekends with maple syrup etc has taken it's toll on my lazy butt, so gone back to the "original keto" that I did prior to Marcus coming along, the Atkin's Diet.  They never had a website way back then, so easy to find info and recipes and shit now!!!  And with keto being the new fad, the range of products around already sorted is amazing, I no longer have to find a bakery who can bake "pana decasa" bread for us (9grams of carbs in the entire loaf!) as there is keto bread already in the supermarkets but FUCK ME DEAD,  THE PRICE OF IT!!!!!!  Holy shit!!!!!  over $10 for a tiny loaf!!!!!  Lucky when you're eating right, you're a lot less hungry!!!!   Soooooooooo sick of eggs for breakfast, was lovely having toast this morning LOL

And Christmas is no longer inching in on us, it's roaring in at breakneck speed, only a month to go and less than a month of work left!!!!!!  YEEfreakingHAAAA!!!!!

Better start planning what we're gonna do over the Xmas break and get animals sorted to be fed!!!

Gone, each taking a piece of my heart, but never forgotten....

Lets see who is in this list.... I came to Blenheim in 2000.

First was a itty bitty little stray kitten that somehow arrived in a shed on the property the ex and I were renting.  Must have been 2001 or 2002.  Little Stumpy (was so young when I found him in the shed his little tail and legs were all stumpy and little) was killed about a month after I found him and started feeding him and taming him down in the shed by Joe my Long Coat Shepherd.  I was devastated :(  Didn't dare get a cat after that episode.  Had 2 dogs and Coke my old horse at that stage.

Shifted to our own property just down the road about 2003 and by then we had 5 dogs and 2 horses and Lilly Bing the first goat kid coming with us.

And inevitably the losses began. And of course more and more came home with me too...

But this list is remembering my precious babies, some of whom I had for such a short time :(

Coke, horse bought when I was about 16, 2004
Elmo, bull mastiff puppy, pound rescue, had him 3 mths, 2005
Speights, horse, 2005 (he got me preggers, long story LOL)
Tai, Great Dane, 2007
Joe, Long Coat GSD, rehome, 2008
Velcro, Black Ram, 2010
Karma, Ridgeback x, rescue, 2011
Phoenix, Bull Mastiff, 2012
Dozer, Bull Mastiff, 2014
Zak, pound rescue, 2016
Lilly Bing, goat, 2017
Ruger, cat, 2018
Abby, mum's horse, 2018
Bird, 5 week old kitten, hand raised from 1 week old, 2019
Phoenix, last of about 20 chooks collected in 2 years, was about 9 yrs old, 2019
Sooty, goat, 2019

Crikey this property is a bit of a pet cemetery!!!  Especially all the chooks, gosh they are a bit fragile in life, fall off the perch quite literally a lot!!!

I keep thinking I've forgotten someone!

And those that are left in the land of the living at present are:

Leo, pound rescue, aged 12 1/2
Vada, Great Dane rehome, aged 7 1/2
Cassidy, cat found in the middle of the road at about 4 weeks of age, now 7 1/2 yrs
Tom, Marcus's cat, 6 3/4
Remington, brother of Ruger, cat, will be 4 in 10 days.
Bear, cat, rescued with his brother Bird and a little sister who died the first night here Feb this year
Izzy Bee the horror goat, who must be 12ish
Barney the pig, 5 1/2
Roger, horse, 24
Mac, horse and most beloved, 18
Smokey, Kaimanawa horse, mustered 2008, same age as Marcus, 13

Still lots to have to farewell.... My babies, no matter how short a time they were here

Rest in Peace Sooty Toots...

Once upon a time, a long long time ago I got my first little orphan wild goat kid, it would have been 2001.  Little Lilly Bing was so cute, got old old photos of her snuggled up in front of the fire, of her standing on my back, more personality than many of my dogs if I'm completely honest.  I lost her last year or the year before, not sure exactly when anymore, it was recorded on FB and well, we all know what happened to all of that!!!  She would have been about 16.  She hailed from East Lane, Kekerengu way.

A couple of years after I got Lilly we obtained Sooty who was about 10 mths old by the time she came to us.  Her owners had got her as a wee orphan when her mother was shot, they lived and worked on Molesworth Station but when they shifted into town they got hold of me and I took on goat #2.

The third of the Billy goats gruff (except they were all females) was Izzy Bee.  She too was only about a year old when she got rehomed to us, she was a spoiled little Wairau Valley orphan and must be close to Marcus's age, so maybe 12 now?  She quickly became a stroppy bitch in the paddock and used to give Marcus assholes.  She has been rather unbalanced in her hormones for a good few years now and after Lilly Bing died, she became the undisputed queen of the paddock.  She never gave ME assholes, but anybody else out there was fair game.  She has a HUGE lump in her throat and sometimes she struggles to eat and can't fit her tongue in her mouth and a couple of times now she has randomly dropped out nearly her whole coat.  Certainly not the most healthy specimen in the paddock.  To the point I actually got my darling neighbour to dig me a hole about 18mths ago because I didn't think she would get thru the winter back then!  But the bitch rallied and is still here, hole still there too!  More recently she's been bloody aggro to Sooty and yesterday it just went far too far.... :(

I went out to shift tape for the horses and Sooty was lying in the grass only a couple of metres away from their tape, flat out on her side, not moving.  I thought she was dead, but she wasn't.  One horn had been torn right off and was just a bleeding inside part stump left, her head was tilted right back like she had lockjaw and she couldn't get up.  Marcus and I carried her into the back yard by the garage, put her in the shelter there, put Abby's old cover over her 'cause she was cold and shivering and left her safe at least.

This morning she was no better, head still stuck back with a stiff neck and she cried out a few times (she HATES being alone) and it was not a pretty call, she was in pain and still couldn't move or get up, so she was put in the back of the car and she was taken to the vet to end that pain and suffering for my timid old soft natured Sooty who only liked to be touched once a year when she was shedding her winter coat and would want me to pull out the tufts of cashmere for her...

She is now in Izzy's hole, but parked beside her best friend Lilly Bing.  Rest easy my girl, you didn't want much to do with me, ever, but I will miss you in the paddock sweety.

It got me thinking how many goodbyes I've had to make since I've been down in Blenheim.... seems like way too many but I guess that comes with time passing and having lots of babies :( 

Might do that list... maybe...

You Ever Have Patches of "It Just Feels Like a Dream"???

I do.... not a bad dream, just when you think you had everything figured out, you saw the map that was your life stretching out ahead of you and suddenly things change, and it's like the map has suddenly become that of a different country so altho the path hasn't changed a lot, where you are and where you will be suddenly seems drastically different.

So dad died a couple of months back right?  Well since then we've heard from one of his long time mates who is the executor of his will that the property he had (which my money savvy mother had gotten for us as the family many many years ago as a house converted to flats) is going to be sold in the new year and the money coming to us 3 kids.  Hell, we'd never counted on anything from him so while I admit it more than crossed my mind after I heard he had died, it was still something you didn't actually factor into your life, but you know what?  I have been factoring it in and altho you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch, god damn I have just r...e...l...a...x...e...d... about my finances!  Mumma taught me well and I've been banging that mortgage away as fast as possible, no point having too much money in savings when it's earning no interest and I'm paying it on a mortgage right?! Next year sometime when the property is sold it'll be the end of my mortgage!!! Doesn't matter if I end up getting fuck all from it, if he had other debts (pretty sure he didn't tho LOL) cause the mortgage ain't huge anyway, but it'll be gone!!!!  The house can get finished!!!  I'm getting a sidecar for the bike for the dog before he dies (hell I was planning on doing that next year anyway but I would have been doing it cheap LOL) and I'm gonna be able to take my "sister to another mother" on a trip we promised to each other 15 yrs after the promise was made.

A chicky babe who has overcome such crap in her life, who has grown, who has shown such courage confronting so many demons on so many levels, who I am PROUD to include in my family and I made a deal that after she was sober for 5 yrs we would take a trip to Egypt.  Well, next year it will have been 15 yrs since she took the last drink that broke that addiction... She no longer runs away from her life or her past and tries to escape it and I am so sooooooooooo proud of her, and so next year, she and I and Marcus are going to Egypt and we're gonna do a safari in Africa on the way home which I've always wanted to do and I just know my old man is gonna be buzzing that he got to help me out with the house, that I won't have to work as many hours as I can possibly scratch up to get ahead, that I can stop breaking my body thru that work and that I will get to take Marcus overseas like that.  He would have absolutely approved of all of it.  Probably even the sidecar cause it'd mean I was less likely to tip the bike over LMAO.

And at the same time I have made the call to leave my twin flame/soul mate/dearest person to me to do his own thing... when you go up there to celebrate a birthday with them and you get ignored completely, even while staying in the house.... well.... it was an easy decision to make eh?  I don't force my company on anyone.  So, you know.... changes I wasn't expecting, like the landscape has changed so abruptly it has to be a dream, but not one I feel the need to wake up from, just one where it seems "strange," not-real, dream-like... like that new tangent, or direction hasn't been made my own yet the brain is still wrapping itself around the idea.

I thank my mother nearly every day for the financial savvy she imparted on me, means I've never NEEDED anyone to help me out, and I thank her for having her shit together enough it meant dad ended up with what he had cause now that's coming full circle.  Dad loved being able to help me out, always buying clothes and stuff for Marcus and sending them down, he had a thing about socks, having grown up, walking barefoot to school and ending up with chillblains that he complained about right thru to him leaving, so I still have socks in the packets here that I'll be using for years to come LOL.  He loved being able to do that, I know he'll be so happy to be able to help out so much more now.

He wasn't a good dad when he should have been, but he always thought he was dad still....

You know what???  I think I'm gonna take pretty much ALL of January off with the boy and we're gonna go explore :)

Work, Work, and no time for anything but Work....

Damn!  Putting in some BIG days at the moment!  And for the first time in 9 yrs (yep since I started driving in the fert spreaders!) I can say my back is not making me want to quit, or wonder how I'm going to do another few years of it!!!  WOOTWOOT!!!  Ladies and Germs, we have a winner!!!  Turmeric stopped me chucking in my job about 5 yrs ago, but adding Calcium and Magnesium to the mix and I can actually say I ENJOY my job again!!!!  of course the back and shoulders, and neck, and every other bit around all that still gets tight and there is an ever present graunching and still lots of stretching and pulling faces BUT when I compare it to how it used to be, I'm in heaven!!!!

Marcus has been thrown in the deep end with helping cook dinners etc lately and has learned the hard way that he is expected to actually do some stuff around the house when I'm busy working my ass off.... when his wee internet addiction got in the way of him doing things he needed to do BEFORE sitting on his ass, well, he lost his internet privileges!  Simple!  Took me a while to figure out how to enforce that, but eventually it twigged in my tired overworked brain that all I needed to do was unplug the modem and take it to work with me BWAHAHAHA.  Took him 5 days to lift his game and earn it back and he's had it back 2 days and hasn't dropped the ball yet, lets see what he's like next week when he gets home from his dads!

Thank God for long weekends is all I can say, hanging out for a break and altho one extra day off isn't going to cut the mustard it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick and 2 in a row (Anniversary Weekend is straight after Labour Weekend for us!) should get me thru to the Xmas/New Years break a tad easier :)  Cannot believe it's nearly Christmas already!  Holy crap time has sped up so much even young school kids are remarking on it, so it's not just the age thing.  Blink and it's gone, a month, a year, a life!  Treasure those moments people!

Right, one day to go before 3 blissful days off work, and I need to hit the sack.  Sweet dreams everyone out there that I hardly talk to anymore, still think of more than just a few of you often :(

Let's Face It...

I will NEVER be a domestic Goddess *sigh*

Marcus has had half a dozen safety pins holding his school uniform shorts together for months now, somehow he split the seam down the outside of his leg and well, I ain't no domestic goddess, so safety pins it was!!!  But school holidays have rolled around (and done and dusted, back at school tomorrow) so I thought I'd better do that "mum thing" and sew them up again.  Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to have "working hands" trying to sew???  How many times one of the cracks or rough bits on a finger grabbed the cotton and pulled it right out of the needle?!  Good Lord, next time it might be easier to just fork out for some new shorts!!!  But it's a small victory for this chick, cause I freaking well did it, and it doesn't look toooooooooooooo bad and you can admire how good it looks cause I only had white cotton in that little supermarket sewing kit I had and they are charcoal shorts ROFLMAO, but hey, the stitches are on the inside you can't see it's white from the outside LOL.

Sorry Marcus, life's a bitch and you got me for a mother LMAO, you and I must have both been BAD in a past life LOL.

Breathing a Sigh of Relief...

Cause, 1, it's the weekend!!!!  It's been a right royal cock of a month gone to be honest, I'm exhausted! 

And 2, Leo is A-OK... He only had one disprin this morning and barked and "bounced" when I got home tonight, apart from a straight tail and a bit more of a stiff limp than the old boy had before, he was smiling again and happy :)  And he hasn't needed another disprin tonight!  YAY!

One SUPER lucky old man!!!!  Not his time yet :)

Tomorrow the weather is supposed to suck big time and we are taking a ride to Kaikoura to meet up with some of the Canterbury BACA crew and others who are "celebrating" (seems completely the wrong word, but brain dead) the death of their Prez "Flint" a year ago.  Flint's ashes were put to sea just south of Kaikoura by one of the tunnels I believe, so they are coming up to lunch in Kaikoura and then do something there with/for Flint on the way home.

Will be nice to see them again no matter what the weather, they are a bloody awesome group of people.

Lucky Leo...

What an incredibly lucky dog he is!  He made his way upstairs last night and had a relatively peaceful night.  Another couple of disprin under his belt in the morning and he made his way back down the stairs OK, peed and pooped outside and looks bloody great considering!

A bit sore when I got home tonight as it was over 12 hours after his morning painkillers, but the devils claw has kicked in now from dinner dosing and he's upstairs again (no keeping him away from mum!) and resting on his bed (and snoring his old man snore he's developed cause he sleeps so deeply as an old fella LOL)

You can see a bit of the pain in his eyes, but hell, considering he was bowled, rolled and assholed, he looks bloody good eh?!  Not a sign of anything wrong until you see his straight tail and a missing claw (and a limp)

Oh No!!!! Leo!!!!

I had told the boss I'd be a bit late in for work this morning as I had to catch horses for the farrier (lucky I did, cause even I couldn't catch that little bastard Smokey for 10 mins when we saw him rock up!)   Roger is lucky last (and very well behaved considering he hates having his feet done, even at 24 yrs old!) and Leo and Vada are busy chewing away on the off cuts of the hoof (it's like doggy chewing gum I swear!)

I go to open the gate for the farrier to leave and Vada comes over to me but Leo has gotten old and deaf and the old bugger doesn't hear me yelling for him, but just as the ute aims towards the gate, he looks up, sees me and starts dawdling towards me, right in front of the frigging ute!!!!  Jesus Christ dog!!!!  He was run completely over by the front wheel, while I'm waving and yelling and running flat out to the ute and he stopped parked with his back wheel on his tail, as I'm yelling "YOU'RE PARKED ON HIM GO BACK, GO BACK!!!!"  Thankfully it seems it was only his tail, (which now hangs limp and dead straight instead of the border collie ring tail he had!) and with blood coming out his mouth, and he got up from under the ute to stagger out, sit down side ways, bite me, snapped at the farrier and I'm saying, "oh god, cut his throat for me!!!  I can't get him in the work truck to get him to the vet and I'm not spending thousands on him, he's 12 and deaf and going blind, just cut his throat for me!!!!"  Well Leo heard that and rallied himself, got up, trotted off without a trace of lameness, went inside, lay down, got back up, came to me, lay down again and didn't look like he was ready to die after all!!!!  He's as sore as buggery this afternoon tho... limping on a front leg, missing a claw on a back foot, broken tail, and trying really hard to NOT cough after a drink, so I'm hoping he hasn't broken ribs, but is just bruised.  Poor old snot!!!

It's been a looooooong day at work that's for sure!  Very glad he'd already had breakfast so he had turmeric and devils claw on board already, and he's just had some more turmeric, calcium and magnesium and a couple of disprin when I got home.  Bloody lucky he's so fluffy and overweight and was in soft springy grass, and SOOOOOO lucky the back wheel didn't go over him cause the amount of steel in the back of a farrier's ute would have crushed the poor wee soul.

He's banished downstairs for now and was going to try to get up the stairs too!!!  But I'll go crash in the spare room downstairs so he can sleep by his mum, cause he NEVER doesn't sleep with his mum and I'm not carrying him up and down the stairs!

So let the healing begin!!!  He didn't want ME doing any on him, but I had been telling him all day to do some self healing...

12 1/2 yrs old, ain't quite time to go yet eh old boy xxx

oh dear.... they do tend to come in threes......

Boss got flown to Nelson Hospital late yesterday afternoon.  Sadly he died before the rest of the family could make it there by car :( 

Higgi was a bloody cowboy when I started at the firm 9 yrs ago, but a great boss none the less.  We kicked him out of the spreader trucks 3 or so years back and semi retired him to the wee farm which he promptly turned into a vineyard.  Still you can't keep a truckie out of a truck and when we were busy and I was still stuck in the vineyard trucks, Higgi would steal my big truck and help out on the farms, leaving it dirty and often something gone wrong with it LOL, but the man was always smiling and had the most cheeky grin when he was up to no good.

Feel for the kids and Mrs Higgi cause where mine won't be missed, he most definitely will be... by all of us.

Have warned the boys at work, the grim reaper always takes 3 and it's only 2 around me so they better get to the doctor at the smallest niggle.  One who is over 65 looked rather freaked out by that comment BWAHAHAHA.

Life and Death...

Shot up North to see mum on the weekend.  Crap weather to ride the bike up there, but like I kept saying to everyone who commented in that vein, it wasn't raining when I booked the tickets!

Mum was good, she was about the same as when I saw her in April, which is good because I was expecting to see some more decline in her!

So few words left it's impossible to understand a damn thing she is trying to say, altho I'm sure she makes sense to herself, you have to watch her face when she finishes a sentence and go from the inflection of her tone and whether she looks amused or not, before you can respond with a "no way!  surely not!" or something similar, but she is still very able to laugh and be happy and that's the main thing.

I got home to a few missed calls and a text on my other phone from a mate of my dads.  I called him the next day and found out that dad had died on Sunday night.  The end of an era....

My dad was an asshole.  A wife beater, a child abuser (in more than one sense of the word) and we were ALL glad to be rid of him when I was 15 and mum finally had enough back up in us kids to chuck him out.

I had shifted in the police to Golden Bay in 1998 and my dad got wind of it, rang the Takaka Police, said who he was and that I was his daughter and could he have my phone number.  Huge no no for info like that to be given out to ANYONE, but the cop working at the time gave him my number and that is how my father got in contact with me again.

Funny thing is, his phone call to me came only a day or so after a phone call to my older brother where we had talked about him and our childhood and the shit that went down and he said he had come to realise that his "family" was mum and me and Cammy (brother) and that was it.  "He" was just a stranger.  Obviously that came at the perfect time (great believer in "everything for a reason" because when a couple of days later I picked up the phone and recognised the voice on the other end of it, I didn't have a heart attack, but after the initial "holy shit he found me!!!!" I realised Slade (brother) was right... this man on the other end of the phone was not family to me, he was just a stranger wanting to talk, and that was the final stage of me making peace with my past.

Dad kept in contact over the years and after Marcus was born he visited twice, the last time when Marcus was about 3 or 4, and he rang to keep up with what was happening, and he always sent birthday and Xmas cards and presents for Marcus which was always appreciated. But at the same time, as harsh as it may sound, his death is no great loss for us as a family.

I've talked to him since I heard the news, he thinks its rather funny that he can talk to me more now than when he was alive, and I know that as spirit energy he is no longer the asshole that my dad was, but have told him to just give me a bit of time to now separate the 2 things in my head before he tries to start advising from that side, cause him butting into things going on in my life like he had the right to over the last 10 or so years used to bug the shit out of me and there were a couple of short sharp conversations when he would try!

I'm glad mum has outlived him, even if she's in no fit state to appreciate it....

And bonus of a windy day back at work, where there isn't too much we can do I got to put some fertiliser on MY paddock tonight!!!  Just as the grass is thinking about having a sprout, great timing :)

the stupid things that make kids kids....

The things I used to post to FB so I wouldn't forget them and because lots of my friends there know/knew Marcus and find his actions or words funny...

So today we were driving home from town and Marcus was in one of those moods where if he had a sibling he would be antagonising them till a scrap happened, except without a sibling it happens with me, which is silly cause his ego desperately wants to win but heck I'm an adult and craftier than him by far, so he always gets the twack around the head as we're driving and he really can't retaliate like he really wants too cause I'm his bloody mother AND I'm driving, you just feel his frustration as times LOL.

He had lost this particular round in the battle and had tucked his head under my arm so I couldn't twack him easily at which point I was closed my arm on the top of his head and told him to sniff my pit LMAO, it was just too easy!

When I let him go to a  "I hate you mumma" (which I hear often!) he said "I'm going to put my head out the window" which he did and then he promptly let rip with an almighty spit!!!!!  Except the dork was still looking straight ahead BWAHAHAHAHAHA  nek minit.... he pulls his head straight back in and wipes a very impressive massive spit off his face with his sleeve looking rather sheepish with it.

Oh dear lord, I mustered up as much disdain as I could to save wetting myself and told him he was a right royal dickhead.... I allow the laughter as I'm typing this instead!!!  What a dork!

Funny as hell at times tho LMAO.

Used to love seeing the FB memories come up reminding me of equally stupid things he'd done that I'd shared that I had completely forgotten about!  Won't get any reminders now, all those wee gems gone!  Poof!

Spring has Sprung!!!!

Good God, the years are now FLYING by, and before anyone says it's age, even the school kids are commenting on how fast time is going!!!  I think we really have  been sped up!

Work is FLAT OUT, which is not surprising for this time of year, makes for some decent pay packets thankfully and since I added Calcium and Magnesium to the cocktail of what I take nutritionally my back has never been better!!!  Well, it has... pre driving spreader trucks LOL.  But prior to finding turmeric I was at the point of thinking of other jobs I could do, turmeric saved my job, but now cal/mag has made it enjoyable again!!!  Only thing is, I can't afford to NOT take them, miss one day and the back is screwed again in that time and takes a week to get back to being OK.

Got the Bighorn and float on the road and legal again, just need to start getting on Smokey again too LOL.  Heading up north to see mum again next week so the bike will be clocking over some more kms and the heated grips will get a torture test done on them hahahaha.

Marcus is still a decent human being for the most part, loving this year for bringing that change about in him and in the right light you can see a tiny black smudge on his upper lip hehehehe.  The little boy is growing up!

Cats are all good, Bear the Demon Spawn is coming up 7 mths old, Leo is getting old but a bit of devils claw added to his food has put a little spring in his step again, Vada LOOKS old (he's only 7 but that is already getting on for a Great Dane!) but he's still as loopy as ever, he is feeling the spring rush too, looping around in the paddock like a grey hound at night LMAO.

On the bike this weekend, a bit of a full on weekend actually, tons to do and still no energy to do it.

And that's my life, all caught up on just like that!  Don't know what I used to post on FB every day!!!!

oh yeah, stuff like this....

Procrastination Beaten AGAIN....

FINALLY the bighorn, tow wagon and float are on the road and legal and usable and poor wee Smokey IS gonna get dragged out to some trail rides this season!

Blew a radiator hose pulling the hay in back in December, is just sorted again now LOL.  Just need to grab a new battery from work on Monday for it, tried charging them both twice, but one is still letting the team down, so last thing to do and then to use the damn things and stop the cobwebs from covering them!

I feel so accomplished LOL, it truly is the little things!  And now it's a raining and miserable day so the rest of the weekend will be spent doing sweet F.A. after a BIG week at work (which went surprisingly quickly!)

Vada hasn't had a guts ache in over a week (touches wood super fast!) Roger is grazing across the road in a shit load of grass, and now I just need to book the ferry for the next trip up the North Island next month to see mumma bear.

I sort of feel like my life is getting sorted in small ways.... oh and it may not seem like much, but last pay day my mortgage finally dropped to 5 figures instead of 6 WOOTWOOT, #winningatlife

(seriously, what the fuck are hashtags all about????)

Boredom leads to sleep which leads to...

no longer being stuck in a cycle of only 6 hrs sleep!  First time since the kid has been born I guess!  Sadly I still feel tired during the day too, better look into the thyroid playing up again... always something to keep an eye on LOL.

But within that boredom that leads to just going to bed cause theres nothing else to do, is my life closing off more and more.  Hermit like.  Have my very dear soulmate that reckons he's a hermit, he's fucking deluded!  He has people texting him left right and centre!  Whether he answers them is a different story!  But he has people in his life big time.  And I introduced him to FB where he spends a LOT of his awake time, just being around people in that sense that FB allows you to do.  I'm thinking of canceling my text plan cause it's just a waste of money, that's how little contact I have with people outside of work!

No one to talk to, no one to take an interest in, no one to take an interest in me quite quickly leads to isolation.  Just sleep your life away.  Life becomes the pocket of your backyard and place of work and I have NEVER socialised with workmates.

Plus side of having animals, they start bellyaching loudly if you sleep in too late in weekends, so you have to get up to feed them and while you're up, you might as well do some other stuff.

And I got TWO rides in on the weekend!  Oh yeah!  Just what was needed.  The shit weather didn't really eventuate on Sunday so went for a wee 100km spin for a green tea and to watch the world go by for a while (yep, more isolation even while moving thru the countryside hahaha) and then raced the temp. drop to get home as the clouds just started rolling in.  Good weekend. 

Spring is Broadsiding Round the Corner Towards Us!!!!

It's still light at 6pm, Spring is coming!!!!

Have dehydrated apples in every available container in the house and the fresh ones are nearly run out :(  They were delicious!!!  I'll miss them, but damn the dehydrated ones are gorgeous too!  Can't see the horses getting many of them!

Roger the old skinny TB of a horse has just gone off property for a month or so after finding someone who volunteered some grass to the boarder's mini pony and he needs company LOL.  They've only been home for a few ones since the last jaunt, it's great not having such a demand on my paddock!

Been doing more mechanical stuff on the vehicles, not by choice, but they're all shitting themselves at the same time LMAO.  Little car is ready for a new WOF after I had to do the rear wheel bearings.  Tow wagon finally has it's new radiator hose on, but I'll try charging the batteries one last time before I give up on them and have to replace them, then it and the float can finally get back on the road in time for the Trail Riding season for wee Smokey, and Marcus's wee bike started.... stopped.... wouldn't re start... needing a leaking fuel hose to be replaced, had to take plug out to get it un-flooded, started it again, and it runs like a piece of shit... Gotta now find a diagnosis for that before he grows too much more!  Feels like an air issue... we'll see!

Bear is nearly 6 mths old and still a brat to the other cats, but is my completely spoiled little love heart.

Vada had another very mild gutsache on Friday night but it seemed to pass quite quickly thank god, I guess 7 is getting older for a Great Dane, will have to watch him now!

Haven't been on the bike for 3 weeks now!!!  Good God I need a decent ride, bring on next weekend when I'm childless!!!! 

And that is my life outside of FB... still boring as hell LOL

End of an Era....

10 yrs ago I got a weekend job collecting eggs at a free range farm just up the road, 8 yrs ago I chucked that job in, and over that period when it came cull time for the shed when the moult hit them I would brings some chooks home with me, at one stage we had about 20 of them!!!  Well over the years they have fallen off the perch until there was just one left.  Well over a year ago she was allowed out of the chook pen to free range the backyard with the dogs and the cats.  One day she decided on a weekend morning to come up the stairs, down the hall and jump up on the bed to say gidday LOL.

She hated being touched but she would chat away to me and follow me round the place.

Just over 3 weeks ago she stopped eating for 3 days, comb paled out and she was walking like she was egg bound... three days later she started eating again and while she struggled to walk she was "OK".  Then Vada bowled her over as he spun around at dinner time without looking and she didn't squawk or anything but after that she went a step backwards with walking again.  Think she broke something in there actually.  So I popped her into the big dog crate where she couldn't wander too far, was warm, soft underfoot and food and water near at hand all day long.

This morning I went downstairs to feed the zoo and she didn't talk to me :(  She died over night.  Peaceful looking death at least.  So she is now buried in the backyard, right beside the house and the chicken shit on the stairs to get upstairs will eventually fade away removing the last traces of her and while I hated her trying to roost on the stairs and would punish her and carry her down again, I will certainly miss my old girl.  Rest Easy Phoenix, you will be missed...

yes, that IS a chicken on the bed!

Meanwhile Vada is still not well, although he has moved bowels more than once now and is peeing OK, we went for a walk around the paddock just now and he did all of the above, ate some grass and FINALLY had a drink of water when we got back in... so fingers crossed he is on the mend from god knows what!  He's tucked up sleeping on my bed again, the only place he will actually lie down properly so he can rest (yep, bastard is spoiled rotten!)  So I'm on a day off babysitting him.  Fingers crossed he won't need a vet visit again now... just need to keep him drinking!

Having to be the strong, sensible, sane one without respite....

....SUCKS!!!  The little ego wants to scream out "WHAT ABOUT ME????!!!!!"  Fucking frustrating but there you go, that is dealing with other people huh?  Great learning, but hell, sometimes plain sailing for a wee while would be fucking awesome!  Never mind... that strong core of steel I pride myself on having is being tempered and hardened and strengthened and as long as the emotions don't harden with it, it can't be a bad thing can it?  No longer battered round in life by circumstances or dealing with others needs, just smooth sailing not cause the seas are smooth but because I know the state of the seas doesn't actually affect me sailing on them...

So anyway, it's the middle of the school holidays, Marcus has done a great job of washing trucks down during the week so will chunk off a little bit more of what he owes on his computer.  Bear is now 2 stone lighter *wink wink* love it when you pick them up from the vets and they say "keep them inside tonight, and if it's cold, tomorrow too" yeah, whatever lady, ain't gonna happen!

Vada my darling big black bastard went to visit the vet this morning with a belly ache.  Big dogs like Great Danes can be prone to bloat which can be a death sentence for them and being half as hour out of town I didn't want to risk it, so he has been given the all clear for bloat at this stage, some drugs on board to clean his stomach out and the big bloody softy would only lie down on my bed where he sleeps at night, so that is where we are now, him wrapped up in his mink blanket finally snoozing, me listening to music and thanking god it didn't have to be an after hours vet visit since it is a Sunday LOL.

Rain might have finally stopped for a little while, first sunshine I've seen today is peeking thru the clouds, GOOD dump of rain since last night and warm yesterday and today, grass might be fooled into pinging up out of the dirt!

AND it really IS staying light till later now, 5.50pm and still able to see (just, but see I can!)  Spring is on it's way, half way thru winter WOOTWOOT!!!

Perks of the Job....

Gotta be some right?  Spread an orchard with lime the other day and asked the owner if I could steal some apples off his trees, he said go for it, the contract overseas was filled and they weren't allowed to sell them locally due to copyright of the fruit so extras and those not up to overseas standard are left to rot on the trees or feed the birds!  So with an apple junky horse in mind (and the others and the pig and the kid) I grabbed some and with permission went back on the weekend for some more!  So the dehyrdator is running (yes, I bought it so apple junky Smokey could have apples in the off season LMAO) and I have so many apples I thought I'd juice some too as the kid is a juice junky and I make him water that store bought sickly sweet crap down.  So I've just juiced about 20kg of apples to get 10 litres of juice, 6 in the freezer and 4 in the fridge and the kid admits it tastes so much better than the crap from the supermarket.

I feel content with an abundance of food at my place, don't know why, we never were lacking for food as a kid, but my freezer and pantry and spare cupboards are always stuffed to capacity and now the animals have plenty too :) 

Perks for the boy too, he needed another part time job to get some money after he chucked his paper run in end of last year, and the butcher shop hasn't got space for him right now, so he has scored a job washing down our mini spreader trucks if they need it on the weekend, and since he is cheaper than me and does a MUCH better job than I do I anticipate I can talk the boss into giving him more than they had originally thought.  That job has meant he can replace his laptop that he not only broke but broke only half an hour after windows disappeared off it (how many times do you have to tell a child that viruses are real?!) so we went computer shopping for him after we went apple picking yesterday and he is now paying that off to me (it was an interest free deal, only way I ever pay anything off!) 

A nice productive weekend without doing too much at all LOL.

And last but not least, I would be mentioning how it's now still lightish at 5.45pm instead of 5.30pm but there are no horsey chicks around to appreciate it *sigh*  Nearly half way thru winter already!!!  WOOHOO!!!!

Gotta Mention the Good Things!!!!

The boy child has Aspergers so has struggled all his years to control himself around other kids and not be bossy, not just go on and on an on about stuff that interests only him, and his need to correct people all the time.  All completely normal kid things to do right?  But Aspergers kids don't learn how to filter all that easily so at 13 some of his behaviours are as selfish as an 8yr old, but hey, social behaviour is a learned thing, he just needs more help to actually learn it and apply it.

And having a mother who threw her filter away when she entered the work force as a truckie and was already a foul mouthed, sarcastic bitch, Marcus grew up from before age 5 hanging round the trucking yard hearing all that (and stuff I wish he hadn't heard!!!) from the guys working there.  And then came the bullying at school, particularly when he changed schools for year 4.... So I tried to teach an unfiltered child how to use his words instead of hands, feet and objects, but teaching an 8 yr old (who we didn't realise was on the ASD spectrum then) sarcasm possibly wasn't the best way to go, this child has an incredible wit, but now it's an incredibly dry and sarcastic sense of humour, one that GRATES!!!

So him going off to college this year was a blessing as he was heading into a new school where the majority of kids didn't know him or his buttons they could push, it was the chance at a fresh start for him where he could step out of the role he had found himself pushed into.  Of course, this meant he needed to change the way he interacts and REACTS with other kids, so now that he is taking the school bus to and from school, part of the deal is when he gets home before he jumps on his computer he does some chores, veggies for dinner, vacuuming, or something else and he reads a chapter of 'How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People' (next on the list is 'How to Win Friends and Influence People') and he is really enjoying the book and it's making sense and we talk about which chapter he read when I get home and talk about how he can apply it at school etc.  Well, altho he still manages to push others buttons enough that they hassle him, and learn his buttons enough to get him to react, he is doing a LOT better at school than he did last year, and better this 2nd term than the first term, he's finally maturing a bit!!!

And he's a great wee helper round home now, actually thinking of other people not just himself, I haven't been able to say this much about Marcus thru the years, but he is a real joy to have around and a great help at home now.  Proud of how he is growing up and that book really is helping.

He's also just picked up some work after being allowed to chuck in his paper run at the end of last year, he's cleaning down our spreader trucks at work when we (the drivers) don't have time to get them cleaned down and today was his first day doing that and he took pride in his work and he did a great job, really proud of how he went today too.  My little boy is finally growing up.

Procrastination finally beaten.....

for ONE thing on the list LOL.  Two years ago Marcus and I took 2 bikes to the beach for a hoon.  Unfortunately it all ended in tears when the clutch fucked out on my mudbug, waaaaaaaay down the beach with an incoming tide and having to push the useless thing back to the vehicle.  Well Marcus had a few wee hissy fits trying to get HIS bike up the beach too and it got laid down in the sand a few times while he was having these hissy fits.  Not a good end to what had been a good day, and then the mudbug broke it's stand in the float coming home and crashed over into Marcus's wee bike which had a grinding noise afterwards in the back end, long story short they both got parked up and forgotten for a while.

Then I got a 2nd motor and clutch off Mal, who'd I'd bought the mudbug off (not that I've done the clutch yet!!!) so they were still sitting there.  About a year ago and boy wanted to ride his bike so he pushed it outside, I kicked it over for him, lo and behold it started but it was pissing fuel out the air filter, so it got parked up again and the carbie ripped off it.  A few months later I mentioned it to Jim (who lives round the corner) and he said bring the carbie round, he'd pull it apart and clean it out (figured it had shit from the beach in it LOL) which it did and I've had that carbie back ready to go back on the bike for at least 6 mths.

Well TODAY, I finally put the carbie back on the bike!!!!  (and in the meantime somehow the grinding back end fixed itself hahaha) it kicked straight over once the fuel was there again and the boychild had a great time ripping round the paddock on it.  It was wonderful to watch and by the way his knees are up around his ears I'm wishing I hadn't procrastinated so long and glad I didn't procrastinate any longer!  He's grown like a weed!!!!

And there were two people out there smiling today, and laughing when the whooping and hollering started, and laughing when he pulled up with mud splattered all over his face.  Good thing is it's back on the road so there'll be plenty more fun to be had for the kid again.  Now, to get the clutch on the mudbug done!!!  Good things take time ;)

But Then There Was a Day to be Remembered....

Teacher's Only Day yesterday for Marcus and after having a day off on Wednesday too with the teachers' strikes, I dragged him into work with me for the day.  Ever since he was 4 he's been spending time in the trucks with me, and every day we used to talk about any and all sorts of things then and in the car for 15 mins morning and night going to work/school.  Since he's been at college he's been on the school bus and at 13 is quite capable of having the odd day at home to sleep in and relax instead of having to get up at sparrow's fart to come with me... So Wednesday he got his sleep in and Friday he came with me, and the radio in the truck wasn't working.  We had the BEST conversations about all sorts of things, starting with kids at school, kids damaging things of others, intentionally or not, and that started us on the legalities of actions, what constitutes a criminal act compared to a civil dispute.  This moved on to murder vs manslaughter, assault vs self defense, use of weapons in all of those things and the main ingredient of them all, intent.

We talked about ego and how it drives people to be more always, how it works, how to work with it or around it.  We talked about our old conversations about ashes in teabags and gingerbread men, yeah, I'll put up those stories another day LOL, inheritances, debts, nutrition and the lack of it and so many other tangents.

All that took us thru till about 1pm LOL.

It was great!  At 3pm I left him at work and he trundled off down to the butcher's shop in Renwick to see about a job and grabbed a couple of hours of computer time in the mealroom till I finished up.  A great day had by all :)

Those days, those moments are worth remembering.

Who Would Have Thought....

Life outside of FB is boring!  Even I read back over this crap and think it's boring.  None of it is entertaining, none of it is even exciting enough to commit to here as a memory and no one gives a shit LOL.

No one cares what happens out of their sight or awareness, we don't have time or energy to care about whats not under our noses. 

Caring has to be convenient...

Enough of being a narcissist here, no one cares about my life outside of FB. 

I never used to have to fill the silence with white noise.  Need to get back there.

Been a Big Couple of Weeks....

Our other spreader driver at work fell off a hill 2 days after the boss went on holiday for 10 days and put himself out of action for 3 weeks, not good!!!  He'll be OK, but man, we are hell busy at the moment and that meant it was just me and a casual driver not only holding the fort, but I had to do the boss's stuff too, take calls, book in jobs, give people the bad news that we're not going to make it to them any time soon and work my ass off with big hours and the body only just hanging in there.  REALLY hard to get out of bed in the mornings by the time Wednesday or Thursday rolls around!  Thankfully the boss was back to work last Friday so I can at least get on with just the truck work!

Tired.... but the back is handling the work surprisingly well considering the neck does nothing but clunk (has done since the last osteo visit) and the lower back is permanently jammed up, keep expecting full seizing up off the body but so far its hanging in there!  YAY!

Bike needs a new rear tyre, MeWe.com is boring as hell cause none of my mates are on there... a few came over but it's too quiet and every sheep is happy on FB, so they've gone back there again.  Got a text from mate in Auckland who's number I didn't have yesterday, that was cool, building the phone directory slowly, shame I hate freaking texting, so slow and laborious when you can type, but beggers can't be choosers.  Binge watching Fringe when I'm too tired to do anything else, forgot how much I liked that series when I first saw it on TV, it's been years! 

Finished my training attendance to start fostering kids, just need them to finish off the approval part and then lets give it a go and see how it all falls into place (or not!) won't know till we try it!

Finances are pretty healthy at this point in life, thank god, means I'm in a position to help someone out who needs some help, just wish I was close enough to actually HELP *sigh* distance sucks cause guessing at what is going on so much of the time allows a lot of room to stress about it!  Never mind, for now I interfered and sicced a friend of theirs onto them, so help is being dished out, such a mental relief!!!

And that is my boring life all caught up.  This crap would have been posted up single entry at a time at FB, christ knows why, not really interesting at all, makes me wonder why I'm putting it in here, but I guess boring or not, this is my life outside of FB

AAAARGGGHHHH

I miss talking to people!!!!  Not enough people on mewe.com for new comers to stick around, they just wander off back to FB again.

Wankers.

FB that is.

Anniversary Time...

2 yrs ago I arrived home with my Trumpy!!!  Hadn't had a bike for about 15 yrs, first ride in 15 yrs was bringing my America home from Tauranga.  It had less than 10 000kms on the clock and it's now just ticked over 40 000kms (last weekend on the BACA ride)  Such an awesome little bike

And 3 yrs ago I met my soul mate... well, didn't MEET him for another 3 weeks or so, but was in communication with him.  The most awesome, most real, most amazing person I've ever had the privilege of meeting.  Thru him I have learned some incredibly valuable lessons that I will forever be grateful for.  He is one of those people who enrich your life simply by being in it.  Sadly he doesn't live close by, but the bike is always a good way to travel (and much more enjoyable over winter now it has heated hand grips! hahaha)

My life is very blessed.  But just to keep it real and insert a whinge, it's been a massive week at work with some hills I wouldn't normally be driving on except our other driver injured himself and is away from work for 3 weeks and the work waits for no man!  Just as well I'm bloody versatile eh?!  Back is seizing up now tho.... roll on end of the day tomorrow!

The Little Hunter....

3 1/2 months old and Little Bear just brought his 2nd mouse upstairs.  I suspected the first one he may have taken off one of the other adult cats and brought up, it was young and rather injured by the time it arrived upstairs.  Tonights mouse was an adult and completely unharmed.  He wasn't very impressed I stole it off him and released it downstairs LOL.

He hasn't learned yet we don't appreciate live rodents being brought upstairs!!!

The B.A.C.A Journey....

Damn FB and its eradication of my memories, I feel I can't go back in time and add in to this blog, can only start it from now, but our journey towards BACA started back in October when I contacted the Prez of Canterbury chapter to ask how we start this thing up up here... From there it's been slow up here in Marlborough, but I have been honoured to meet and be welcomed by BACA brothers and sisters in both Canterbury and Auckland, awesome awesome people.

So yesterday was the BACA 100 mile ride, where every BACA chapter around the world (over 500) ride 100 miles all on the same day... of course we see the day ahead of everyone else so we ride before them too LOL. 

Marcus and I jumped on the bike after work on Friday and rode down to Christchurch, was a bit chillier than anticipated but wet weather gear serves to break the wind wonderfully and the heated grips were just divine!!!  Any new bike is getting them put on before I even do my first ride on it!

Met up with the crew on Saturday morning and did the ride.  Good ride, weather held fine for us altho it didn't climb to the forecast 18 degrees LOL.  And then a very quick trip home again! Did it in pre earthquake roadworks time coming home, great trip!!!  And warmer :)  Sadly none of our other BACA wannabe's could make it down (yet again!)

Some photos from the ride....

Electric Shock Therapy...

Sometime in April my electric fence stopped zapping the critters.  I assumed it was just the trees shorting out on the fence so trimmed the branches back before we headed to Auckland.  Alas while we were away the horses busted out a couple of times and fat Mac was constantly just leaning over the tape, stretching it out and eating about 3 break shifts worth each time I shifted it.  With 3 horses on 5 acres in drought prone Marlborough I can't affoard to have one fatty and not enough grass for them all so in desperation when I got back from up north I pulled into a farm shop while working and spent $400 on a big assed doozy solar fence unit (had a small one 20 yrs ago which no longer holds a charge sadly).  I swear, hearing that electric fence zap Mac when he first leaned over it was worth the $400!!!!  Seeing the tidy, straight eaten lines that don't stretch beyond the electric tape, EXTREMELY satisfying.  And the savings on power ain't bad either!  Think I'll leave the mains unit undiagnosed for a while, no rush now :)

And today the ponies got their teeth done, happy campers all round.

New (sort of) Toys at Work....

So, the bosses bought a brand new MAN spreader truck, which has gone to Muzza who does the hill country (takes work off the airplanes the bloody idiot!) which means I have gone from my Merc to his cast off MAN (I never get a virgin!) ... (I like my Merc, but the MAN has much better suspension and electrics (or lack of) for spreading)) It got my name on the door on Friday, I only just saw it today LOL...

Working on just over 4 hrs sleep after another crap night, it didn't really cheer me up LOL

Could it be?

After a crap sleep and head that wouldn't shut the fuck up, it was a day of reading Illusions by Richard Bach.  It helped.  Can't afford to turn into an insomniac again, need something that will shut the head up in the wee small hours.

Some days people just need to know.....

...How important they are.  How valuable they are.  Hell, everyday people need to know that.  Never leave it unsaid, no matter how silly or vulnerable you may feel saying it.  It may be the one thing that is remembered by someone till death, and it may be the one thing that saves others from death.  Don't be stingy with your affections!

Love, Laugh, Live!!!

Little Wins Make it a Little Better...

So last week was a pretty average week, not average in that they happen a lot, but wasn't that flash!  But there was one morning driving into work I came into a fog patch and the sun was rising directly in front of me, would have been a brilliant sunstrike but instead the fog made it look like there was a gigantic super moon in front of me, it was breathtakingly beautiful and I almost stopped to attempt a photo, but my phone camera is CRAP and as usual I was late so I didn't.  I don't think I'll forget what it looked like, but I would eventually forget I saw it... except now I won't!  LOL.

Another thing I did last week to make myself feel better was chuck a couple of grand off the mortgage, that always does it :)  See I have plans once I'm no longer sinking that money into the mortgage and in a decade or so I want to be running off traveling the world on a bike for a couple of years.  My soul mate will never leave the country so I'll never be able to get him to do it with me and in a decade or so I doubt he'll still be with me here, so I'm gonna take him round the world on the bike with me after he's gone, when he's free to travel and outside of the constraints of his head and we'll go adventuring :)  So I'm really happy to watch that mortgage shrink.  Is it sad that I know how much the interest is on it daily?  and how much it's changed in daily interest and time with a couple of grand off it?  LOL.  I hate debt, I revel in watching it shrink!

Right need to wake the child and head to work.  Happy Hump Day!