Who Would Have Thought....

Life outside of FB is boring!  Even I read back over this crap and think it's boring.  None of it is entertaining, none of it is even exciting enough to commit to here as a memory and no one gives a shit LOL.

No one cares what happens out of their sight or awareness, we don't have time or energy to care about whats not under our noses. 

Caring has to be convenient...

Enough of being a narcissist here, no one cares about my life outside of FB. 

I never used to have to fill the silence with white noise.  Need to get back there.

Been a Big Couple of Weeks....

Our other spreader driver at work fell off a hill 2 days after the boss went on holiday for 10 days and put himself out of action for 3 weeks, not good!!!  He'll be OK, but man, we are hell busy at the moment and that meant it was just me and a casual driver not only holding the fort, but I had to do the boss's stuff too, take calls, book in jobs, give people the bad news that we're not going to make it to them any time soon and work my ass off with big hours and the body only just hanging in there.  REALLY hard to get out of bed in the mornings by the time Wednesday or Thursday rolls around!  Thankfully the boss was back to work last Friday so I can at least get on with just the truck work!

Tired.... but the back is handling the work surprisingly well considering the neck does nothing but clunk (has done since the last osteo visit) and the lower back is permanently jammed up, keep expecting full seizing up off the body but so far its hanging in there!  YAY!

Bike needs a new rear tyre, MeWe.com is boring as hell cause none of my mates are on there... a few came over but it's too quiet and every sheep is happy on FB, so they've gone back there again.  Got a text from mate in Auckland who's number I didn't have yesterday, that was cool, building the phone directory slowly, shame I hate freaking texting, so slow and laborious when you can type, but beggers can't be choosers.  Binge watching Fringe when I'm too tired to do anything else, forgot how much I liked that series when I first saw it on TV, it's been years! 

Finished my training attendance to start fostering kids, just need them to finish off the approval part and then lets give it a go and see how it all falls into place (or not!) won't know till we try it!

Finances are pretty healthy at this point in life, thank god, means I'm in a position to help someone out who needs some help, just wish I was close enough to actually HELP *sigh* distance sucks cause guessing at what is going on so much of the time allows a lot of room to stress about it!  Never mind, for now I interfered and sicced a friend of theirs onto them, so help is being dished out, such a mental relief!!!

And that is my boring life all caught up.  This crap would have been posted up single entry at a time at FB, christ knows why, not really interesting at all, makes me wonder why I'm putting it in here, but I guess boring or not, this is my life outside of FB

AAAARGGGHHHH

I miss talking to people!!!!  Not enough people on mewe.com for new comers to stick around, they just wander off back to FB again.

Wankers.

FB that is.

Anniversary Time...

2 yrs ago I arrived home with my Trumpy!!!  Hadn't had a bike for about 15 yrs, first ride in 15 yrs was bringing my America home from Tauranga.  It had less than 10 000kms on the clock and it's now just ticked over 40 000kms (last weekend on the BACA ride)  Such an awesome little bike

And 3 yrs ago I met my soul mate... well, didn't MEET him for another 3 weeks or so, but was in communication with him.  The most awesome, most real, most amazing person I've ever had the privilege of meeting.  Thru him I have learned some incredibly valuable lessons that I will forever be grateful for.  He is one of those people who enrich your life simply by being in it.  Sadly he doesn't live close by, but the bike is always a good way to travel (and much more enjoyable over winter now it has heated hand grips! hahaha)

My life is very blessed.  But just to keep it real and insert a whinge, it's been a massive week at work with some hills I wouldn't normally be driving on except our other driver injured himself and is away from work for 3 weeks and the work waits for no man!  Just as well I'm bloody versatile eh?!  Back is seizing up now tho.... roll on end of the day tomorrow!

The Little Hunter....

3 1/2 months old and Little Bear just brought his 2nd mouse upstairs.  I suspected the first one he may have taken off one of the other adult cats and brought up, it was young and rather injured by the time it arrived upstairs.  Tonights mouse was an adult and completely unharmed.  He wasn't very impressed I stole it off him and released it downstairs LOL.

He hasn't learned yet we don't appreciate live rodents being brought upstairs!!!

The B.A.C.A Journey....

Damn FB and its eradication of my memories, I feel I can't go back in time and add in to this blog, can only start it from now, but our journey towards BACA started back in October when I contacted the Prez of Canterbury chapter to ask how we start this thing up up here... From there it's been slow up here in Marlborough, but I have been honoured to meet and be welcomed by BACA brothers and sisters in both Canterbury and Auckland, awesome awesome people.

So yesterday was the BACA 100 mile ride, where every BACA chapter around the world (over 500) ride 100 miles all on the same day... of course we see the day ahead of everyone else so we ride before them too LOL. 

Marcus and I jumped on the bike after work on Friday and rode down to Christchurch, was a bit chillier than anticipated but wet weather gear serves to break the wind wonderfully and the heated grips were just divine!!!  Any new bike is getting them put on before I even do my first ride on it!

Met up with the crew on Saturday morning and did the ride.  Good ride, weather held fine for us altho it didn't climb to the forecast 18 degrees LOL.  And then a very quick trip home again! Did it in pre earthquake roadworks time coming home, great trip!!!  And warmer :)  Sadly none of our other BACA wannabe's could make it down (yet again!)

Some photos from the ride....

Electric Shock Therapy...

Sometime in April my electric fence stopped zapping the critters.  I assumed it was just the trees shorting out on the fence so trimmed the branches back before we headed to Auckland.  Alas while we were away the horses busted out a couple of times and fat Mac was constantly just leaning over the tape, stretching it out and eating about 3 break shifts worth each time I shifted it.  With 3 horses on 5 acres in drought prone Marlborough I can't affoard to have one fatty and not enough grass for them all so in desperation when I got back from up north I pulled into a farm shop while working and spent $400 on a big assed doozy solar fence unit (had a small one 20 yrs ago which no longer holds a charge sadly).  I swear, hearing that electric fence zap Mac when he first leaned over it was worth the $400!!!!  Seeing the tidy, straight eaten lines that don't stretch beyond the electric tape, EXTREMELY satisfying.  And the savings on power ain't bad either!  Think I'll leave the mains unit undiagnosed for a while, no rush now :)

And today the ponies got their teeth done, happy campers all round.

New (sort of) Toys at Work....

So, the bosses bought a brand new MAN spreader truck, which has gone to Muzza who does the hill country (takes work off the airplanes the bloody idiot!) which means I have gone from my Merc to his cast off MAN (I never get a virgin!) ... (I like my Merc, but the MAN has much better suspension and electrics (or lack of) for spreading)) It got my name on the door on Friday, I only just saw it today LOL...

Working on just over 4 hrs sleep after another crap night, it didn't really cheer me up LOL

Could it be?

After a crap sleep and head that wouldn't shut the fuck up, it was a day of reading Illusions by Richard Bach.  It helped.  Can't afford to turn into an insomniac again, need something that will shut the head up in the wee small hours.

Some days people just need to know.....

...How important they are.  How valuable they are.  Hell, everyday people need to know that.  Never leave it unsaid, no matter how silly or vulnerable you may feel saying it.  It may be the one thing that is remembered by someone till death, and it may be the one thing that saves others from death.  Don't be stingy with your affections!

Love, Laugh, Live!!!

Little Wins Make it a Little Better...

So last week was a pretty average week, not average in that they happen a lot, but wasn't that flash!  But there was one morning driving into work I came into a fog patch and the sun was rising directly in front of me, would have been a brilliant sunstrike but instead the fog made it look like there was a gigantic super moon in front of me, it was breathtakingly beautiful and I almost stopped to attempt a photo, but my phone camera is CRAP and as usual I was late so I didn't.  I don't think I'll forget what it looked like, but I would eventually forget I saw it... except now I won't!  LOL.

Another thing I did last week to make myself feel better was chuck a couple of grand off the mortgage, that always does it :)  See I have plans once I'm no longer sinking that money into the mortgage and in a decade or so I want to be running off traveling the world on a bike for a couple of years.  My soul mate will never leave the country so I'll never be able to get him to do it with me and in a decade or so I doubt he'll still be with me here, so I'm gonna take him round the world on the bike with me after he's gone, when he's free to travel and outside of the constraints of his head and we'll go adventuring :)  So I'm really happy to watch that mortgage shrink.  Is it sad that I know how much the interest is on it daily?  and how much it's changed in daily interest and time with a couple of grand off it?  LOL.  I hate debt, I revel in watching it shrink!

Right need to wake the child and head to work.  Happy Hump Day!

The Story of Bird and Bear. And then just Bear...

There was a skinny wee black cat hanging round the yard at work, not wild, but a stray obviously... Well sometime around Waitangi Day, Feb 2019 she decided to grace us with the birth of her babies, which approx a week later she decided to shift into a nest she made half way up a wall in amongst the electrical wiring for our roller door.  Obviously they couldn't stay there, and so with eyes just starting to open they were shifted into a humane trap hoping mum would come back for them and we could catch her.  If mum came back it was only once and she didn't spring the trap, and then she stopped coming.  We decided the young ones (four of them! 3 pitch black, and one every so slightly lighter) couldn't go all day without feeding at that age, we couldn't just leave them starving for 15 hours till mum came back at night, so we started eye dropping milk into the babies, but we were all busy and it wasn't as regular as it should have been.  Over night, the weakest and the quietest one died, and we established mum hadn't come back over night to them at all.  They were all cold and extremely hungry and another one was looking very weak.  So I took the three of them home that night.  None of them were suckling, it was syringe work to feed them and unfortunately my first time doing that.  I got so enthusiastic when all 3 of them took 3ml of milk each I went for another 2ml for them and sadly I drowned the wee one :(  They were at this stage probably a week old, eyes were still only just opening and I don't think they could actually see, but man they were loud!!! 

This video below they were probably  Bird has just finished his feed and is looking rather milk drunk, but you can hear him purr when Marcus touches him, and Bear having his feed.  So little, so so beautiful.  From being EXTREMELY loud kittens, particularly at feed times, 3 weeks down the track they are really quiet kittens.  Even now at 3 mths old Bear is only just now starting to chirp and make noises, he has no need to cry out and call mum which I just love :)

Well all was going well until at about 4 weeks old Bird somehow broke his front leg.  Started with a small limp, overnight it got more painful, the next day it was swollen beyond belief and he wasn't standing on it at all.  That's all fine!  They can't give kittens pain killers, and can't put it is a cast because of the swelling and the growth factor, we were using the bioptron on it to get the swelling down and remove some of the pain and 3 days later it was coming along OK, but I had separated Bird and Bear so Bear couldn't crawl all over him and hurt it further, this brought to light a far more sinister problem than the leg... It appears Bear had been nursing on his brother's bits!!!  Quite natural considering their age and the need to nurse, but it happening had ensured that Bird was toileting quite normally altho it always seemed to be while he was lying down in all the bedding, hindsight show us why!  Bird had a bladder issue, that he was unable to toilet on his own, not even when he was absolutely bursting, in fact he nearly got to the bursting point!  3.30am 11th of March we made a trip into town to see the vet as it was obviously way more than his leg and sadly I suspected it was a bladder issue.  The vet said there was obviously something physically wrong with him that he couldn't mechanically toilet on his own and that altho they could operate at less than 5 weeks old it didn't bode well for a happy and healthy cat long term.  So my little Angel was set free then and there and buried beside his little sister.

Big Bird about to start eating on his own :)

I must say altho I wouldn't wish it on anything, Bird's injury did give Bear and I a chance to bond as I had to keep them separate.  He is one feisty wee thing!!!  Have got all of their progresses diary noted, their weights, when they first ran, jumped, ate solids, so glad I didn't rely solely on FB to store all that!!!  I'd be ready to kill!!!  And then it was just Bear progressing on his own, and growing, and getting lighter in colour!  (He was the very dark grey one) and his coat white specked out completely and he developed grey and black stripes!  (You can see the stripes down his back in this next photo)

Bear was still needing to be fed by bottle even after Bird died, Bird had been more ready to get off the bottle and onto solids, just prior to hurting himself, but Bear was REALLY good at using the litter box without needing to be shown.  I would take him in the car to a mate at work who only worked part time and wasn't on at that stage and drop him with her during the day and pick him up after work and take him home and had the grand idea that this cat was going to be another Rastus!!!!  A bike cat :)  Only trouble is he would completely freak out if a loud bike went past hahaha.  Anyway at 10 weeks old we took him up the North Island with us for a week in the car, litter tray in the back, he was just perfect to travel with!!!  Couldn't have wished for more :)  and he was great with any animals he met on the way.

He is now 3 mths old tomorrow, weighing in at 1.8kg (he was 150grams when he first came home) and a little hell cat who lives to terrorise the adult cats nonstop!  He will climb in the bath with me and perch on what ever dry bit he can find, he purrs so loud I can't sleep till he stops and loves to sleep snuggled in under my chin or lying across my neck or shifting every 5 mins to do variations of those poses which doesn't lend itself to good sleeping when he decides to join me but I wouldn't have it any other way.  He is the light of my life

getting used to his harness before the trip

6 plus hours driving and that was pretty much how he spent all of it

traffic jam on Auckland's motorways give a chance to bask in the sun

new playmates, Stella the collie pup

Oh, and funnily enough apart from the 2 tiny bits of white on him since he was born, the grey has gone back to black, the striping has disappeared and the only evidence of his coat having all the white specking it did is the hairs on the inside of his ears are still white!  Wonder if his summer and winter coats will be different?!

Grieving the Losses......

of photos, memories, how removal of any trace of me has ruined my son's FB page for him as nothing I posted there for him is there anymore.  Nothing I liked shows as a like, there are no comments from me showing, fucking asshats... And missing the stories the photos told, thank god, they are all safely still on my computer!!!

Bear the kitten is 3 mths old tomorrow, a milestone!  And suddenly I realise his story isn't documented anywhere anymore, and Bird his brother who I had to bury at 4 weeks old is no longer known to anyone but me and mine, and I still miss Big Bird, would love to see how fluffy he was getting as he grew, whether Bear caught him up in size, my Birdie who had a special piece of my heart... but this is MY space, where I can share what I damn well want to, I can recreate the scrapbook that was theirs, it doesn't matter if no one ever reads it, I can, I will, I will look at those photos and smile and shed a tear and grieve all my losses...

3 weeks on...

I'm not sure if it feels like an eternity or a split second, but I have found out that after 10 yrs of FB I have fallen out of the habit of finding my own company satisfactory!  For a narcissist that's quite a revelation!!!  LOL

Feeling somewhat isolated and a tad lonely, harder 3 weeks on than it was the first few days.  Watching a lot of movies and when I run out of them I guess I'll start on wading thru my library downstairs, blessed with a brain that can watch a movie a hundred times and read a book as often and still enjoy it as much as the first time round :)

Thank God for small mercies!

Out to Live....

Gorgeous Autumn day today, high of 18 forecast, blue skies and sunshine up the Valley, went to Rai Valley for brunch with good friend/practically neighbour/riding buddy and Marcus on the back.  Was cold, cloudy, grey and miserable at Rai LMAO!  Heated handgrips work well tho not quite well enough to warm up the knees!  Definitely not summer riding gear weather anymore, today might have been the last for that :(

Was a nice ride tho, feels like it's been forever since the last one but it was only 2 weeks ago to get to Kaikoura for the boy's birthday!

Went incognito today ;)

Shit Comes in Clumps

Ever noticed that yourself???  Seems to be a consistent story of my life and while seeing/reading/hearing about everyone else's shit storms as they hit their lives via FB, it seems to not just be me... Always wondered if it's a case of one crappy thing happens, we focus on that and just manifest more of the same energy, or whether it's just the Universe trying to cut us a break.... shit has to happen, but lets put it all out there in one foul sweep and then you get to have some time without some shit at least!

Not that shit is really happening here, a couple of little things that I wasn't expecting, but then I notice other little things I wasn't expecting happening too... maybe because I'm not quite the chirpy happy little camper I am normally so I pick up on the small stuff easier and therefore sweat it more too... who knows.  What I do know is that while on FB I had more than a few friends who suffered depression and/or anxiety and that while it reminded me my own little shit clumps can be dealt with easily, it also made me aware of posting up funny and more uplifting stuff... Last thing anyone who is already depressed wants to read is more depressing stuff of other people!  On top of that I'm a great believer of faking it till you make it, particularly when it's head stuff.  It's a well known fact that laughing releases the feel good hormones, even if that laugh is faked, and even if it is faked initially, it doesn't take much for it to become REAL.

I guess I miss that opportunity with no FB... when I feel bland, or in even a tiny slump, there is no faking it till I make it, no opportunities for laughter like what used to pop up on my newsfeed, and it's easy to stay in that slump for longer than is necessary, easy to focus on the crap, even if it's tiny.  I noticed all this today, wouldn't have written it as long winded on FB, but probably would have posted something up there appreciating the distraction of friends and laughter.